Therapy Thoughts

DECIDING not to DECIDE

DECIDING not to DECIDE

Yes…deciding not to decide is a decision!

It’s a decision when it is not avoidance, but an active choice. This choice may be the most appropriate one at the time for a number of reasons:

*You may need more information in order to make a choice. In which case there is a decision to be made…what information do I need to be able to decide?

*There may be still a lot of time before any choice needs to be made… making a choice could then be premature and may be wrong by the time the choice has to actually be made, as circumstances may have changed.

*The situation may be ever changing, in which case no final decision can be made and investing a lot of energy into thinking and planning only drains you from current living. Only decide what to do for now.

*Your state of mind may not be right at the time. You could be tired, depressed or perhaps under the influence of some; substance…drugs, alcohol…

*You may be under the influence of some person pushing you to make a decision. Now you can tell them, “I have decided not to decide for the moment.”

*You may be under pressure from YOU to make a decision!

Often, the you… is the most problematic!

 We make ourselves feel deficient for not knowing what we want. We tell ourselves bad things such as “I’m so stupid…so un-decisive…such a procrastinator!

We tell ourselves that “every-one else” would know what to do.

But, how true are these statements?

If you feel you absolutely need a more concrete decision than deciding not to decide…state that you will decide; by the end the month, end of year, your birthday. This may feel much more of a decision. (You could always apply to yourself for an extention when the time comes.).

However, if you are postponing what HAS to be decided…that’s another thing!

Be honest with youself.

Have a great week,

Lidia

 

 

 

 

 

 

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